Earth: Year 2604 

In the 2060s, the super-wealthy left Earth to populate the Moon and Mars, leaving the poor and working class behind. Today, Earth’s population stands at around 50,000 people. The uber-wealthy technocrats were kind enough to leave Earth’s remaining citizens with a miracle food source: Beyond Animals. These are sentient, intelligent beings farmed for meat, but they technically aren’t “real.” As such, most consider Beyond Farming to be ethical. Today, the most common job is Beyond Herding and Farming, which entails long days, frigid nights, and intense physical labor. The small herds of Beyond Animals are scarce, and resources are limited. But the Amazon Food Division recently located a pack of Beyond Cows living on a desolate mountain: what was once known as Beyond Beef Mountain, in what used to be Wyoming.

For Jeff Bezos the 35th and Summer Zuckerberg, this presented a much-needed opportunity. Jeff and Summer were both born and raised in what used to be Wyoming, now known as Prime Zone 222. Jeff was named after his father Jeff, who was a part of a long line of Jeff’s who were all named after their distant relative, Jeff Bezos. Summer, meanwhile, had a unique name. In the present day, there are only two calendar blocks: REALLY COLD and REALLY HOT. The four seasons have become a distant memory. Summer’s mother, artistic and eccentric, dreamed of the world from the Before-Times, where summer existed. There, she could go to the beach, lather on tanning oil, eat ice cream cones, and be sexually liberated. In summer, she could be free. So that’s what she named her son.

The job description on Indeed.com read: beyond cows broke free from lab. Need hands to lead them back. Loose on Elevation Zone 2903. Jeff, who came from a long line of Beyond Beef farmers, had done similar jobs a million times. Summer, however, had never done anything like it. His family did low-level IT and clerical work, but he dreamed of a more adventurous life. He didn’t want to stare at a screen inputting data, like his father and his father before him.

  Summer and Jeff showed up to their post at Amazon Facility 2903 at 0700. There they met their boss, a cold man named Musk. “I’ll give you boys coupla Beyond Horses and a few Beyond Dogs to get up there on that there elevation zone and get them Beyond Cows, y’understand? We needa get em back before Really Cold starts, else they gon’ freeze.” Jeff and Summer nodded, understanding. They were nearing the end of the Really Hot block; in two weeks the block would change overnight to Really Cold. This put a strict deadline on Jeff and Summer, as they only packed for Really Hot, and would quickly freeze if they got stuck on Beyond Beef Mountain in the next block.

Musk sent them on their way, and they hopped on their horses, Pete and Chasten. They rode in silence until they reached a good stopping point. It wasn’t until they were sitting by their holographic fire, eating bug-bars, and slamming PBR’s that they started talking.

“My daddy Jeff was a Beyond Beef farmer, and his daddy my grandaddy was a Beyond Beef farmer, and his daddy my great-granddaddy was a Beyond Beef farmer, and his daddy…” Jeff went on and on. Summer wasn’t sure what it was, but he was heavily invested in Jeff’s story. The way he told it, the way he lit up when talking about wrangling the Beyond Cows, his strong, broad shoulders… He had to shake himself out of it.

He had had this feeling once before, watching an old clip he found on his father’s computer titled “Sean Cody: Mountain Getaway Day 4.” When he brought it up with his father, he slapped Summer and threatened to send him to the gay exile zone if he discussed it with anyone again. Following the conception of their repopulation initiative, Amazon created the gay exile zone at what used to be the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. Anyone found participating in homosexual behavior was banished to the island for the rest of their life. Summer understood the severity of the situation back then -- but this was different. This was real life. He could have reached out and touched Jeff in that moment. But again, he stopped himself.

“And his daddy, my great great great great granddaddy, was a Beyond Beef farmer. So I guess that’s how I got into it. I like it, I guess. I don’t know anything else, so.”

“That’s really cool,” Summer said. He had stopped listening a few great granddaddy’s ago.

“Really?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah. I’ve only ever sat in front of a screen, pressing buttons. I’m excited to work with the Beyond Cows.”

Jeff laughed. “Yeah, they’re alright.”

They stared into each other’s eyes -- until Jeff looked away. “Well night.” He turned off the holographic fire, turned over, and was snoring within seconds.

“Night,” Summer whispered.

----------------------------------

       When Summer woke up the next morning, Jeff was already packing up their camp. “Cows on the move,” he grunted. “They aint too fast but we should get movin.” Summer nodded and got his things together.

       By midday they caught up with the pack. The cows had seemingly decided to have a relaxing afternoon; they were all swimming in a creek, doing cannonballs, floating on noodles, that kind of thing.

       “Hey!” Jeff yelled. “Get on outta there, girls. We gotta get on back to the Amazon lab.” The dogs barked assertively at the cows, backing up Jeff.

       All of the cows MOOOO’D in dissent. They mobilized quickly, ditching their noodles and charging out of the creek. Jeff clicked at Chasten, and they galloped off ahead of the cows, the dogs quick on his heels. Summer was lost at that point; he had no idea what to do beyond chase after them. Galloping on his horse Pete, he was scared but exhilarated. He had never experienced the feeling of being in control of such a powerful animal, the wind in his hair, the smell of outside. He finally caught up with Jeff, who had cornered the cows against a rock.

       “YOU KEEP THEM COWS HERE WHILE I BUILD A PERIMETER!” He shouted at Summer.

       “Uhh-- okay!” Summer had no idea how he was going to do this.

       Jeff hopped off of Chasten and took an Amazon Fire Stick out of his pocket. He shot an electric force field out of the stick, which built a makeshift fence to keep the cows in. They shuffled around, but they were stuck. Summer breathed a sigh of relief.

        All Jeff said was, “Alright, let’s get er camp set up.”

       After the setup and a few cans of beans for dinner, they again talked late into the night. It came naturally to them, sharing their childhood experiences and what they dreamt of for the future.

       “You know this ain’t used to be called ‘Elevation Zone 2903.’ It used to be Beyond Beef Mountain,” Jeff said.

       “Wow. That’s so much prettier.”

       “Yeah, I reckon. When I was a little boy I always wanted to go beyond Beyond Beef Mountain. I heard it’s a whole different world out there. Ain’t all these ‘zones’ and ‘blocks’ and technology and all that. It’s more like the old times.”

       “You mean like, is there summer there?”

       “Whassat?”

       “That’s what I was named after. Before it wasn’t Really Hot and Really Cold. There was summer, fall, winter, and spring.”

       “Boy I ain’t know what yer goin’ on about.”

       “I was named after summer, because my mother thought it sounded like the nicest thing ever. You could go swimming in the ocean, lather yourself up with tanning oil, eat ice cream cones, and be sexually liberated.”

       Jeff was confused, but intrigued. “Sexually liberated? Whassat?”

       Summer stared deep into Jeff’s eyes, his face illuminated by the holographic fire. “I can show you.” He moved in and kissed Jeff, hard. Jeff instinctually pulled away -- but he wasn’t upset, just surprised. He stared at Summer, then moved back in. They kissed each other hungrily, and soon they were up, ripping each other’s clothes off. Neither knew what they were doing and yet knew exactly what they were doing. And neither had felt anything like it before.

----------------------------------

       They spent the rest of the Really Hot block fucking and slowly wrangling the cows back to the lab. They thought nobody could see them on their journey, but Musk had been periodically checking on them via drone surveillance. He saw all of the sex they were having, and while he could have reported them to the authorities, he decided to turn a blind eye. They got the job done, and he had done his fair share of experimenting in trade school anyway. Musk gave Jeff and Summer their measly wages with a grunt and sent them on their way.

       Before leaving each other, Jeff and Summer stopped at a craft cocktail bar for some espresso martinis. Summer asked Jeff his plans for Really Cold.

       “I dunno,” Jeff muttered. “My daddy says he got a old cow buddy who got a daughter who needs marryin’.

       Summer felt a sharp pain in his gut, but he didn’t let it show on his face. “Is she pretty?”

       “Naw.” Jeff downed the rest of his martini in one gulp and nodded to the bar robot for another. “What about you?”

       “Probably about the same. Back to data inputting. I was dating some lady before this who’ll probably wanna get married and have babies.”

       Jeff merely grunted in response. He downed his next martini, stood up, and extended his hand. “Well. Bye Summer.”

       Again Summer was hit with a sharp pain. “Yeah, see ya around.”

----------------------------------

       Years passed. Jeff married the farmer’s daughter, Hillary, and in three years they had three children: Jeff Jr, Jeffrina, and Jeff Jr 2. Jeff barely talked to his wife and avoided his kids as much as possible, busying himself with work and drinking. Both of them were miserable in their marriage.

       Summer, meanwhile, married into a wealthy family; members of the Amazon dynasty. The Amazon’s had kept their procreation close to the family, so there was a good deal of inbreeding. As a result, Summer’s wife Ella was a bit simple and weird looking. But he was handed a decent tech job and a comfortable life, something most people were not fortunate enough to have. Even though he was depressed and bored, he didn’t complain. It wasn’t long before they had a daughter of their own, also named Jeffrina.

       One boring day at work, Summer’s supervisor told him he’d be going on a trip to troubleshoot a supercomputer at one of the Amazon facilities in Zone 222. Summer’s ears perked up; this is where he and Jeff were from, and where Jeff still lived. He tried not to show his excitement, as that would have read as suspicious.

       Using an encrypted messaging app, Summer sent Jeff a message: ‘Hi friend, it’s Summer. Will be in 222 for work. Would love to catch up.’ Jeff, in the middle of milking one of his Beyond Cows, flashed a rare smile when he took his phone out. He responded, ‘You bet your sweet ass.’

       Summer giggled when he saw Jeff’s response. “What’s that yer gigglin’ about?” He looked up, flustered. Ella, who was one of his managers, stood at his desk.

       “Oh, uh. Nothing. I’m not giggling about anything.”

       Ella crossed her arms and scowled “Mhmmm.”

       Summer smiled at his strange wife/coworker, and she left in a huff. Stomping away, she spoke in a low voice to her watch: “Prime Assistant: set tracker and video surveillance on husband.” Her watch responded back in a sultry voice: “tracker and video surveillance on husband Summer, set.”

----------------------------------

       The next Monday, Summer pulled into the driveway situated above Jeff’s underground bunker. Jeff, waiting by his home surveillance cameras, hopped up as soon as he pulled in.

       “Don’t wait up for me now, Hillary! I aint seen my friend in years. We usually get to drinkin and talkin and Lord knows how long that’ll be.”

       “Whatever,” she grunted while smoking a cigar. She perked up, suddenly remembering something.  “Hold on now, did you give the Beyond Pigs their slop?”

       She limped into the study to yell at him, but he was already gone. She watched on the security camera as Jeff greeted his friend and went in for a passionate kiss. They wasted no time getting into Summer’s Tesla and having loud, rough sex. Finally, after a few hours of this, they sped off. Hillary stood there motionless, mouth agape.

       Meanwhile, back in the office, Ella and a team of Amazon board members watched the intense lovemaking on a huge flat screen TV. Her face showed no signs of emotion as she held her watch to her mouth. “Prime Assistant: send husband location to Amazon Control Office.”

 ----------------------------------

        Jeff and Summer didn’t even go to a bar; they just grabbed a bottle of premade espresso martini and sped to the nearest underground Motel. They spent the afternoon drinking, smoking, making love, and talking.

       “You ever get to go beyond Beyond Beef Mountain?” Summer asked, his head resting on Jeff’s chest post-coitus.

       “Naw, I never did,” Jeff said.

       “We should go.”

       Jeff laughed.

       “I’m serious,” Summer insisted.

       “That’s what I love about you,” Jeff said. “You got these big dreams.”

       Summer looked up. “You love me?”

       “Well sure I do.”

       Suddenly, there was a LOUD BANG on the door. They both shot up, eyes wide. From outside the door, they heard: “AMAZON CONTROL OFFICERS. OPEN UP.”

       They sprung out of bed, rushing to pull their pants on. Before they were able to finish, there was another loud BANG, and another, until the door burst open. Men in Amazon uniforms wielding automatic weapons rushed in and went straight for Summer. They threw him to the ground and pulled his hands behind his back. Jeff pushed back at the officers, who struggled to withhold him. “Now what in the hell is this!?” 

       “We received a report that this man, Summer Amazon, was engaging in homosexual activity.”

       “Now that’s a load of bull, Summer and I’s old friends, that’s all!” The officers stared at Jeff and Summer, who were both sweaty in their undies.

       “We have evidence, sir.”

       Summer screamed back from the ground: “I’m in the Amazon family! My wife, her name is Ella Amazon -- call her! This is a big misunderstanding!”

       “She’s the one who reported the activity, sir.”

       Summer went sheet white. “What the hell…”

       The officers pulled him up violently and led him to the door. Jeff, having to be restrained by three officers, shouted, “WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU TAKIN’ HIM!?”

       “Where all homosexual offenders go. Zone 8074. What used to be known as the Atlantis Resort.”

       Summer was quiet, registering the reality of the situation. As he was being led away, he mouthed the words “I love you too” at Jeff. The door slammed. In an instant, Jeff was alone in the dead-quiet motel room that smelled of sex and cigarettes. He screamed until he was crying and hoarse. He had never done that before.

       “Goodbye, Summer,” he said to himself. “I’ll see you…. Beyond Beyond Beef Mountain.”